Have you ever thought something like this:
I’ll feel more confident once I’ve ….. (fill in the blank).
I’ll feel more confident once I’ve nailed that presentation.
I’ll feel more confident once I’ve taken that additional class or training.
I’ll feel more confident once I’m driving that fancy car.
I’ll feel more confident once I’ve gotten that promotion.
I’ll feel more confident once I’ve hit that milestone in that project.
And then you …
… did that presentation.
… took that additional class or training.
… are driving that fancy car.
… got that promotion.
… hit that milestone in that project.
And then you… still don’t feel more confident, right?
And what do you do when that happens?
My guess is that you …
… work harder to achieve more.
… take more classes.
… plan to buy that bigger house.
… chase that next promotion or start looking for a more prestigious job.
But the truth is – you won’t find confidence there.
Because the underlying assumption that
confidence is a consequence of what you have achieved
is FLAWED.
Confidence DOESN’T come from doing, having or being more.
You can find confidence right where you are – with what you’re doing, having, being – in this exact moment.
You don’t need to be or have or do more to feel more confident.
Confidence doesn’t require a specific number of achievements or possessions.
Confidence comes from
the way you look at yourself,
what you are capable of and
what’s possible for you.
the way you look at yourself,
what you are capable of and
what’s possible for you.
And that is TOTALLY unrelated to achievements, certifications, promotions, big houses or cars.
You’ll only feel more confident with the project knocked out of the park IF YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF AT THE SAME TIME.
You’ll only feel more confident with the extra certification or promotion IF YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF AT THE SAME TIME.
You’ll only feel more confident with the big house IF YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF AT THE SAME TIME.
Creating confidence requires mindset work, upgrading your critical self-talk and downgrading way-too-high-expectations.
Creating confidence requires mindset work, going from undervaluing yourself + overvaluing others, to valuing them AND you – all equal, all worth listening too, all worth appreciating.
Creating confidence requires mindset work, unhooking yourself from worrying about the things that went wrong or could go wrong, instead of seeing them as a sign that you are not capable enough to handle it.
Creating confidence requires mindset work, unhooking yourself from worrying about what others think about you, and letting them think what they want to think WITHOUT making their opinions mean something bad about you.
What if you were willing to let go of your “if, then…” rules for creating confidence?
What if you started upleveling the way you look at yourself instead?
How different would that make you feel?