Do you find yourself ruminating about something that went wrong?
Reliving that mistake over and over again?
Or replaying the feedback that stung in an endless loop in your mind?
Even though you don’t want to?
But those thoughts keep popping up?
The truth is – you can’t change what happened.
Ruminating can’t undo that mistake.
Ruminating can’t rewrite that typo.
Ruminating can’t re-answer that question that got you stumped in a meeting 3 days ago.
Ruminating can’t erase the criticism you got.
What happened, happened.
And that’s ok.
No need for fretting, frustration or feeling like a failure.
And the truth is – it’s NOT that mistake or the criticism that is creating that feeling of frustration or that sense of falling short.
It’s the should-have, could-have, why-did-I, how-could-I-be-so-stupid, what-will-everyone-think-about-me-now sauce that we pour over what happened.
It’s the reprimanding voice-over in our mind, that transforms just-simply-something-that-happened into a big deal.
Revisiting something that happened is useful, interesting, illuminating.
But only if we turn down that reprimanding voice and take off those should-have, could-have, why-did-I, how-could-I-be-so-stupid, what-will-everyone-think-about-me-now glasses.
Imagine what would happen if you chose the lens of curiosity, fascination, intrigue.
What can I learn from that mistake?
What insight does their feedback give me – about myself, and the other person?
Where can I find the answer to that question that got me stumped?
Those questions are helpful, insightful, illuminating.
But you’ll only get to ask yourself those questions and have the openness of mind to truly answer those questions, if you turn down that reprimanding voice-over in your mind first.
If you take off those should-have, could-have, why-did-I, how-could-I-be-so-stupid, what-will-everyone-think-about-me-now glasses.
Turning down that voice-over or switching those glasses – that’s not a gimmick.
But a career-, confidence- and life-altering skill.
Imagine the difference that having that skill would make.
Imagine all the time and energy you’d gain by NOT ruminating about those mistakes or reliving those conversations.
Imagine how much more decisive you’d be, how much more focused and productive.
Imagine how much more you’d actually learn, how much more you’d deepen and expand your expertise + range of knowledge.
Imagine how much more resourceful and creative you’d feel, how much more capable to problem solve whatever gets thrown your way.
Imagine how much more fun you’d have along the way.
NOT because all of a sudden you only deliver flawless results, 100% mistake-free.
NOT because all of a sudden you nail every conversation without ever getting pushback.
But because you decided to turn down the volume of the reprimanding should-have, could-have, why-did-I, how-could-I-be-so-stupid, what-will-everyone-think-about-me-now voice-over in your mind.
Not a gimmick, but a tangible skill with tangible day-to-day results.
One decision today.
And then tomorrow.
And the next day.
Till turning down that volume or reaching for those curiosity-driven, fascination-loving, intrigue-d glasses becomes as natural + normal as brushing your teeth in the morning.
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